The Perfect Mom

Does anyone out there feel like a perfect mom? It seems to me that the minute our babies are handed to us, we are expected to do everything right and if anything goes wrong (i.e.: Markoff screwing up his career as a doctor), it’s our fault.
What is a perfect mom, anyway? Here are a few examples of celebrity mothers who may or may not help us define the term.
First Lady Michelle Obama – She always looks perfect, smiling from ear to ear and never seems stressed. The children always seem very well-behaved. I wish I knew her secret. Could it be that she’s in the spotlight constantly and doesn’t have a choice?
Angelina Jolie - She seems to have it all and yet it’s not enough. She continues to want more children. Perhaps she needs them to fill a void in her life. I guess Brad Pitt isn’t satisfying her.
Sarah Palin – Well, maybe not. Her imperfections make her all the more appealing as a candidate for the perfect mother award; but I don’t want to open a can of worms with this one.
Bridget Moynahan – The fact that she had Tom Brady’s baby after he dumped her definitely puts her in the category of a perfect mom. Her poise and classiness make her even more beautiful and her ability to hide what is really going on inside is amazing. She must be so emotionally distraught about Tom hooking up with Gisele over her and yet it doesn’t show.
Jennifer Garner – All I can say is, “wow”. Those paparazzi never make her look bad. There is nothing negative anyone can say about her, except that she’s married to Ben Affleck.
Jennifer Lopez – I don’t get it. She leaves Ben Affleck to marry Marc Anthony. They seemed to be so in love. They had twins and then they file for divorce. What could have possibly gone wrong? Everything seemed so perfect! I guess it was too good to be true.
Katie Holmes – Her hair is always flawless and her wardrobe says it all. Money really can buy happiness. Little Suri (interesting name) will hopefully take after her mom. She makes motherhood look so easy.
Tori Spelling – Good Lord – I’m speechless.
Brittany Spears – Yikes. Where do I begin? I believe she is a classic case of drumming up publicity to sell a lot of albums and guess what, it worked; but I feel bad for her sons because they have suffered the most so their mom could be in the spotlight.
Julia Roberts – One of my favorite actresses. She’s doing a great job with the twins and her new son. She’s the epitome of what every woman wants to be; she had a successful career and is now taking the time to focus on her family.
Octomom Nadya Suleman – Now, she’s a real role model, don’t you think? Super-mom is more like it, but I wonder about her mental state. Many believe a woman’s brain shrinks after giving birth. In this case, what’s left of her brain?
Please don’t throw eggs at me. My list could go on and on. These are just my opinion. Everyone has a right to their opinions. My goal is to make my readers laugh. I hope I accomplished this and I want every mother to know we all celebrities.
Every mother is a super star and we don’t have to be perfect. We just need to be the best we can be at the most important job in a woman’s life - molding the lives of our children and shaping their future. It’s no small task and a tremendous responsibility, worthy of fame; too bad we all can’t have nannies like the real celebrities.
Happy Mother’s Day.
(published in Burlington Union 5-7-09)