My Milestone Birthday

Every year for the past 39 years of my life, I’ve celebrated my November 25 birthday on Thanksgiving. Some years I’ve been lucky enough to have the holiday and my day coincide.
But this year, I’m not so excited about being a turkey baby. I’m turning the “big 4-0".
I can honestly say, I’ve noticed my appearance change this past year. My skin is thinner and if I sleep a certain way, I could have a crease across my cheek for several hours of the day before it finally disappears.
The dark bags under my eyes, which I thought were from lack of sleep, are actually a permanent new facial feature which I must cover up with the best make-up invention ever, concealer.
On the positive side, I got my first mammogram over and done with. I decided to do it just before I officially turned 40. I have to admit, the worst part was waiting for the results; then having to go back another day for further testing because they saw something suspicious. I hugged the radiologist when she told me I was all set and come back next year.
My sister started planning the party I didn’t want for my 40th from around a year ago. I was told to show up at her house on Saturday wearing something purple or pink and looking fabulous. I have to admit, it was nice to feel like Queen for a day which was the theme for the party. I even got to wear a rhinestone tiara with “40” on it and my royal followers wore pink feather boas and purple and silver bead necklaces. A luxurious coach shuttle bus transported us all to a glamorous, sheik restaurant called Cuchi Cuchi. Upon our return, we enjoyed a 3-tier regal cake topped with a crown and I was showered with generous gifts. I felt like such a celebrity.
I just wish I could be a real superstar for one day, though, or a supermodel like Gisele Bundchen, not because she’s married to the GQ man of the year, Tom Brady, but because she most likely will never have to wear Spanx. Perhaps pregnancy will introduce her to fat cells.
I e-mailed a bunch of my relatives and friends who are 40 or older to get some advice to help prepare myself for this major milestone and here’s a little glimpse of what they told me:
From cousin Effie in New York:
“Enjoy your neck.”
“Foods that you once loved, no longer love you.”
“Fuggetaboutit!”
“It becomes impossible to lose weight – those fat and forty t-shirts have truth to them.”
“Hang around with fifty plus women and you will see how lovely you still look.”
“Compared to your 50’s, 40 is fabulous!”
“Use eye cream.”
“Laugh a lot and live life and don’t worry about your age. It’s a waste of precious energy.”
From cousin Christine in Florida:
“Worry about 60 when the kids are out of the house and you will wonder what to do with your free time.”
“Pick and choose your arguments well for there is really very little worth fighting over.”
“You are only as happy as your least happiest child.”
From my friend, Tricia in Dedham:
“Be afraid, be very afraid.”
From my friend, Mary in Burlington:
“40 means nothing. Our culture has this youth obsession, especially regarding women and I think that drives a lot of our angst about aging.”
From cousin Helene in New York:
“You somehow realize not to stress over the little things because you now know that they are really not important. You become more relaxed as a person within your own skin, more relaxed as a parent and as a spouse.”
From my sister, Lisa:
“Turning 40 was the best birthday I ever had! I loved turning 40! I love that I felt 20 at 40 and felt I looked better at 40 than at 20!
“I don' t care for pettiness at 40, I say like it is and do what I want to do and don't have to apologize.”
“40 is not an age it’s a state of mind.... fabulous at 40, foxy at 40, 40 years young, kiss me I’m 40.”
“Enjoy it! Celebrate it! You’ve lived 1/2 your life and anything you didn' t like or want to do, now’s the time to change and don't be afraid to do whatever you want to do.”
“It’s a new chapter in your life and its up to you to make it a good one.”
These are great words from very special women in my life and I will heed to every one of them.
My husband, who turned 40 three years ago, thankfully is not making a big deal about this. I threw him a surprise Elvis-themed party for his milestone birthday which he later revealed he knew about because he saw the invitation on our computer.
When I asked him why he didn’t tell me he knew about it, he replied, “because then I would have had to help you.”
Good answer, don’t you think?
I am very thankful for what I have and will try not sweat the small stuff in my 40’s. After all, stress makes us age even more!
Thank you to everyone who helped make my 40th birthday unforgettable and truly fabulous, especially my mother and my sister, the party planners.

The Perfect Mom

Does anyone out there feel like a perfect mom? It seems to me that the minute our babies are handed to us, we are expected to do everything right and if anything goes wrong (i.e.: Markoff screwing up his career as a doctor), it’s our fault.
What is a perfect mom, anyway? Here are a few examples of celebrity mothers who may or may not help us define the term.
First Lady Michelle Obama – She always looks perfect, smiling from ear to ear and never seems stressed. The children always seem very well-behaved. I wish I knew her secret. Could it be that she’s in the spotlight constantly and doesn’t have a choice?
Angelina Jolie - She seems to have it all and yet it’s not enough. She continues to want more children. Perhaps she needs them to fill a void in her life. I guess Brad Pitt isn’t satisfying her.
Sarah Palin – Well, maybe not. Her imperfections make her all the more appealing as a candidate for the perfect mother award; but I don’t want to open a can of worms with this one.
Bridget Moynahan – The fact that she had Tom Brady’s baby after he dumped her definitely puts her in the category of a perfect mom. Her poise and classiness make her even more beautiful and her ability to hide what is really going on inside is amazing. She must be so emotionally distraught about Tom hooking up with Gisele over her and yet it doesn’t show.
Jennifer Garner – All I can say is, “wow”. Those paparazzi never make her look bad. There is nothing negative anyone can say about her, except that she’s married to Ben Affleck.
Jennifer Lopez – I don’t get it. She leaves Ben Affleck to marry Marc Anthony. They seemed to be so in love. They had twins and then they file for divorce. What could have possibly gone wrong? Everything seemed so perfect! I guess it was too good to be true.
Katie Holmes – Her hair is always flawless and her wardrobe says it all. Money really can buy happiness. Little Suri (interesting name) will hopefully take after her mom. She makes motherhood look so easy.
Tori Spelling – Good Lord – I’m speechless.
Brittany Spears – Yikes. Where do I begin? I believe she is a classic case of drumming up publicity to sell a lot of albums and guess what, it worked; but I feel bad for her sons because they have suffered the most so their mom could be in the spotlight.
Julia Roberts – One of my favorite actresses. She’s doing a great job with the twins and her new son. She’s the epitome of what every woman wants to be; she had a successful career and is now taking the time to focus on her family.
Octomom Nadya Suleman – Now, she’s a real role model, don’t you think? Super-mom is more like it, but I wonder about her mental state. Many believe a woman’s brain shrinks after giving birth. In this case, what’s left of her brain?
Please don’t throw eggs at me. My list could go on and on. These are just my opinion. Everyone has a right to their opinions. My goal is to make my readers laugh. I hope I accomplished this and I want every mother to know we all celebrities.
Every mother is a super star and we don’t have to be perfect. We just need to be the best we can be at the most important job in a woman’s life - molding the lives of our children and shaping their future. It’s no small task and a tremendous responsibility, worthy of fame; too bad we all can’t have nannies like the real celebrities.
Happy Mother’s Day.
(published in Burlington Union 5-7-09)

KIDDIE CAB SERVICE

Every summer, I promise myself that I won’t register my kids for too many activities. I aim to keep our calendar as free as possible so that we’re not overbooked and have time to relax and visit with friends or family.
Somehow, our July schedule has been jam-packed and I have a new job – I’m my kids’ taxi driver. I now spend most of these hot, humid days in my tired-looking mini-van. Thank goodness it’s air-conditioned.
Here’s a little look at a typical weekday in my new career: Wake up, shower, get myself and everyone else dressed, fed, and out the door before 8:00 a.m. (no snoozing allowed; must have at least 2 full cups of coffee to get jump-started; don’t forget to pack snacks and drinks for the road). I drop off the first passenger at Fox Hill School for Reading Camp and then proceed to my next stop for my second passenger, the Recreation Building for Summer Discovery. From there, we continue to Simonds Park where my 3rd passenger gets dropped off for Club Simonds. Then, I get a little kid-free break that flies by as I spend it doing quick errands (food shopping, post office, bank, etc.). When the break ends, I return to the Recreation building to pick up passenger #1, and then proceed to Fox Hill to pick up passenger # 2 and take them both to an appointment in Lexington. At 3:00, I return to Simonds Park for passenger #3 and take all of them to the YMCA in Woburn for swimming lessons. In between stops, I can’t resist visiting the Dunkin Donuts drive-through to get my ice coffee fix.
Dinner is usually take-out because I don’t have time to cook a gourmet meal. By the end of the day, all the kids are exhausted and their driver is wondering how she got herself into this mess.
Maybe I wouldn’t mind being a taxi driver if the vehicle I drove was a shiny, new Mercedes SUV with a remote starter, navigation system and DVD player with dual screens. I’m not the only mom in this situation. I know there are a lot of us out there. In fact, I see the same people on my route day after day. We’ve even started waving to each other as we pass. We feel like we’re running non-stop all day long. The only problem is, we’re not burning enough calories – just a lot of expensive fuel.
One benefit of driving around town as much as I have is that I’ve discovered the spots where police cruisers park…waiting to catch someone speeding or violating a traffic signal. I make an extra effort not to rush and allow myself enough time for drop-off’s and pick-up’s to avoid getting in trouble with the law.
Another perk in my new field of work is the entertainment. My 3-year old is used to being on the road so much that she never wants to go home. When we get in the car, she asks me, “Where are we going next?” She also likes to sing her own made-up songs and gets mad if I put on the radio or try to sing along with her.
I only turn the stereo on for longer drives when she falls asleep to prevent me from dozing off, too. My son insists on listening to Kiss 108 which plays all the current hits he enjoys. I almost went into shock when I heard him singing, “I kissed a girl and I liked it…Hope my boyfriend don’t mind it”. I must hear that catchy tune at least four times a day which makes it difficult to get it out of my head.
My neighbor left me a phone message recently that said “Well, I guess you’re out dropping off one of your kids or picking up another one; or running back and forth between appointments…call me whenever you get back in your house.” – this made me laugh, even though it was the absolute truth. I spend most of my day in the car. I sometimes eat my breakfast or lunch in the car; make phone calls, read, or nap in the car; and even do my bills in the car.
If I earned cab fare, it would be well worth it. Maybe I’ll start my own Kiddie Cab service. The number one rule for passengers will be: No eating or drinking allowed in the vehicle. How many of us say this all the time, especially after we spend a pretty penny getting the car professionally detailed, and then somehow, the goldfish crackers, chips, lollipops, pretzels, French fries, gum, juice boxes, m&m’s, etc. find their way back into our car and we’re right back where we started in a matter of minutes.
When school starts again, things will get back to normal. The bus will bring my kids to school in the morning and I will pick them up in the afternoon from the same single location. I’ll have some more solid, uninterrupted time to actually get things done at home like laundry, cleaning, cooking, working, etc. It will still be hectic, but I won’t have to spend as much time in the car, carting the kids here, there and everywhere.
I may be calling the Recreation office to cancel everything we have planned for August – I know I’ll get slapped with $5 fees for each class, but I don’t care. This taxi driver needs a vacation!

Joanna Kaselis Tzouvelis is a Burlington resident and columnist…please e-mail her at jtzouvelis@comcast.net to share your kiddie cab stories.

New Year's Resolutions

Lose weight, get more organized, spend more quality time with the children, take better care of my husband, share more laughter and good times together, write more, read more,spend less money, be the best person I can be.