Dangers of "Children Online"

Belmont parents and public school staff had the opportunity to learn about internet safety from two experts in the field at a workshop on May 3, 2010 in the Chenery Middle School auditorium.
Marje Monroe and Doug Fodeman, co-founders of Children Online, a consulting company devoted to the safety of children and teens online, presented “Realities, issues and solutions”, based on their combined 50 years of experience in education and counseling and recent research findings from internet surveys of 3000 students in grades 4 through 8.
“Kids are embracing technology. It is part of their life and culture; but it is filtering down to younger and younger children. We as parents need to put on the brakes and say, ‘hold on. Enough is enough,’” said Fodeman.
Children Online’s research has found kids in fourth grade are on Facebook and the most popular websites are YouTube and Facebook for all ages. Kids in grades 4 through 12 have virtual friends they never met in person, added Monroe.
“This year bullying and harassment are very high,” she said.
“Kids need boundaries,” is the message both Fodeman and Monroe wanted to get across to the audience which included Chenery’s Headmaster Deborah Alexander, the Lower School Assistant Headmaster Heidi Johnson and Guidance Counselor Carla Hawkins.
Monroe said kids say things on line they wouldn’t do in person because it’s easier to be mean when you are not looking at someone’s face. “Anonymity enables kids to bully and harass,” she said, adding “they also believe they won’t get caught.”
Fodeman highlighted websites which are owned by reputable, well-known brand name companies such as Nickelodeon and Disney. However, many of them are not designed in the best interest of kids and their sole mission is to make money, he said.
Nickelodeon owns “Addicting Games” which is another popular site for kids in grades 3 through 8. One of the games is “Perry the Perve” which he was shocked to learn shows partially naked women. Another game, “Tickle Me,” shows a live person on her bed.
“Stardoll.com” is another website Fodeman and Monroe were disturbed by and said there are many on-line doll sites visited by young girls.
Farmville is another popular game on Facebook which has also attracted the attention of scammers who put up surveys and quizzes coaxing private information such as cell phone numbers.
All of these kid’s sites have ads which pop-up or are on the sidebars which look like mini-games, but they are actually scams. When a child clicks on the link, they may download a virus such as spyware or malware onto the computer which will slow it down like molasses and can find out all the private log-in information such as bank accounts and passwords, said Fodeman.
“Make no mistake, our kids have no idea how successfully they are being targeted,” he said.
Monroe expressed great concern about kids growing up socializing on line. Even her own eight-year-old son told her, “Mom, I have a date on Club Penquin. We’re meeting in a nightclub,” she said.
Chenery Librarian Karen Duff organized the presentation and was pleased with the turn-out. The more parents who understand and engage with their children on these issues, the healthier our children’s behavior will be online and off.
Headmaster Alexander said this presentation is “just the beginning of a series of workshops and discussions on the appropriate use of technology by middle school students. We were delighted with the turn-out, and we hope that future opportunities include even more parents.”
For more information visit, www.childrenonline.org.

Helpful tips
Fodeman and Monroe offered an abundance of helpful tips for parents such as:
- Children shouldn’t have a computer in their bedroom until at least age 15. Computers should be in a public area of the home.
- Instruct children not to share their cell phone number or e-mail address on any websites.
- Kids should never give other kids their password.
- Kids should not be chatting on-line. Parents should shut this feature off.
- Kids should be at least 16 if they want a Facebook account.
- Instant messaging should not be allowed until 6th grade.
- Parental contraol software is recommended.
- Instant messaging should only be allowed in a public space and the time should be limited.
- Teach children never to use instant messaging when they are angry, hurt or upset. They should get off and use the phone
- No group instant messaging. Instant messaging is the single greatest area for harassment on line.
- Kids should not make friends on line
- If your child has a Facebook account, you should know their password. You do not necessarily have to be their friend on line because that is an image you may not want to present
- Educate kids about privacy marketing and to be media savvy (teach them the difference between .com, .gov. and .org).
- Always take cell phones at the door when there is a sleep-over party. Many sexting issues are the result of cell phones at parties when kids take provocative pictures.
- Prohibit downloads without your permission.
- Prohibit uploading videos and photos without your permission.
- Always encourage kids to talk to you when they are bullied, scared or uncomfortable.